A few months ago I reached a point in my life where I was tired of struggle. Exhausted by all the striving I was doing to change.
Up until then I had been a master of struggle. An expert at tying myself in knots. In a constant battle (against no one but myself!) to make things different than how they actually were.
This struggle pervaded every area of life - my work, my love life, even my physical location (“oh how I wish it wouldn’t rain so much in Scotland, if only the sun would shine, I’d be happy!”).
I was on a constant mission. To do more. To be thinner. To be better. To rise higher.
It was exhausting.
I decided not to do it any more.
I finally came to realise that, quite simply, all the striving doesn't get you anywhere. Other than to a state of exhaustion and burn out.
The harder I pushed to change or improve, the further away I was getting from where I want to be. The more unhappy I was making myself. All because the underlying belief that I was operating from was that "I am not good enough right now".
I share this because I fear I'm not alone. Everywhere you look, we're constantly being encouraged to change and improve. To strive for more. We are constantly looking outside ourselves for confirmation and approval that we're doing life right. That we're succeeding and on the right path.
We compare ourselves to friends and peers. We seek acceptance from others. Social media paints an unrealistic picture of how other people's lives are. We strive to meet these imagined ideals. We get down on ourselves when things don't match up.
We think that when we get to the next thing everything will be better. We'll feel the way we want to feel. Life will be good.
Yet all the time we're looking in the wrong place.
The only way we're ever going to find a place of true contentedness is by stopping. Stopping all the busyness. Disconnecting from what's going on outside. And instead finding a way of connecting to our internal experience. To how we're feeling right now. In this moment. And knowing how we want to feel in life.
We need less thinking and striving for the next thing. More feeling and being in the present moment.
Don't get me wrong I'm not against setting goals. Having a clear vision and goals is key to a fulfilled and happy life. But the thing we need to do first is to accept ourselves now. We need to be ok with things just as they are.
The only way to get to where you are going is to know and accept where you are right now.
To accept that you are enough now. You know enough now. You are good enough now just as you are.
From this place of acceptance, change happens naturally and easily.
You are in charge of how you want to feel each day. Regardless of what is happening around you. You can make choices about how to spend your time. Where to invest your energy. And you can make choices that allow you to feel good right now. Just as you are.
Personally, this year, I have made a conscious decision and a daily practice of choosing ease and pleasure over struggle and forcing. It sounds so obvious and simple, yet for so long it felt so out of reach.
I am owning my story. Welcoming my full and authentic self in all that I do. And doing it with pleasure and ease. Fancy joining me on the journey?
Yoga and meditation are a great way of connecting to your inner experience of life. To getting out of your head and into your body. To tapping into your true feelings. Why not give it a go? I promise we'll have a blast!
If you're interested in group or one-to-one classes drop me a note at - wellbeingwithkatie@gmail.com